Interlude: the iConfess
It had to happen. Apple has finally released Version One of the iConfess, a sophisticated hi-tech gadget aimed at Catholics. Worn on the wrist like a watch, it automatically records your sins as you commit them, storing the details in a database in the Cloud. When the user wishes, he or she can press the Confiteor button, whereupon the sins are sent to a Virtual Confessional, which is basically an interface with the iAbsolve package (whose sysadmins are exclusively drawn from a pool of registered online priests). The iAbsolve groups incoming sins into "sin clusters', via a sophisticated algorithm, and matches each cluster with an appropriate Penance, such that, say, carrying out an Ethnic Cleansing program in Bosnia and then forgetting one's wife's birthday would return a Penance of five Half Arthurs, ten Hail Marys and two Glory Be's. These prayers are then sent via secure connection to the user's iConfess, where pressing the appropriate DoPenance button will ...