The wonky Tree (3)
I have met a lot of people who are permanently on the defensive. Sometimes about their competence at work, other times about their appearance, other times about their ideas. Once or twice about other aspects of their alleged "identity", e.g. national or ethnic origin, or more strangely still, the presumed fidelity of their spouse, or the sacred put-uponness of their entire gender, or some such thing. It makes me sad. I should be permanently on the defensive. After all, whatever angle I hold the mirror at, whatever aspect of myself I choose to look at, what is reflected back is a vulnerability, a potential source of shame or embarrassment. There's nothing about me that strikes me as good enough: nothing I can be proud of or assertive about. But I'm not permanently on the defensive. I have the instinct, all the wiring is there, and sometimes it seems to quietly hum to life in the background, just to show it's still operational if needed. Its presence allows me to ...