Driving in Ecuador: a guide for foreigners
The following information may be useful for visitors from other countries who are planning to use the roads here.
(1) Until very recently, the standard procedure for obtaining a driving licence in Ecuador was to bribe someone from the local traffic authority. Lately, a new, improved procedure has come into force whereby you have to bribe a considerably larger number of people. Estimates vary regarding the number of Ecuadorian drivers who have at some time actually had driving lessons, but observation suggests the number is probably not much higher than 2%.
(2) The main purpose of driving in Ecuador is to enrage other drivers, and ideally, cause them to have accidents. Getting to where you want to go is merely a subsidiary goal, to be sacrificed to the main goal whenever the two should conflict. A "good driver" in Ecuador is one who leaves in his wake a trail of skids, crashes, dead motorcyclists and traumatized pedestrians, without damaging the paintwork of his own vehicle.
(3) Most road signs are merely decorative. This is especially true of speed limit and Give Way signs. There is no speed limit on any road in Ecuador. You should drive at, or slightly over, your own car's maximum speed at all times.
(4) If there is a car in front of you, preventing you from reaching your car's maximum speed, you should not brake or decelerate. Instead, you should approach rapidly, at full speed, flashing your lights repeatedly as a signal that the car in front is blocking your way, that you are more important than he is, and that you are not sure whether you can find the brake pedal in time to prevent a collision. If the car still does not move out of the way, you should swerve around it at the last moment, if necessary making use of the hard shoulder. With luck, this will cause other drivers to swerve suddenly to avoid you, and cause a satisfying pile-up, which you can enjoy contemplating in your rear view mirror.
(5) Some Ecuadorian roads are painted with lines which the novice might interpret as indicating lanes. Again, these are just for decorative purposes. Roads in Ecuador do not have lanes. Consequently, any advice you may have read about taking "precautions" before "changing lanes" does not apply. Just weave around the road as you see fit. (If you wish to use your car's indicator lights, make sure you use the one on the opposite side to the direction you intend to turn. This confuses other drivers and ensures your supremacy on the road.) A good policy when there is a lot of traffic is to tack diagonally from side to side of the road, thus causing maximum stress to other drivers who will have to brake repeatedly as you cross in front of them at a distance of millimeters.
(6) In an Ecuadorian car, the horn has two primary uses: (a) to signal to a female pedestrian that you approve of the way she is dressed, and (b) to inform other drivers that you are more important than they are, and that therefore they should get out of your way. A subsidiary use is in a traffic jam or a long queue, to signal that you are in a hurry and tired of waiting. Frequently, this use of the horn has resulted in a genii appearing and magically removing all the other traffic from the road, leaving the driver to proceed at leisure.
(7) If you need to turn, and there is already a car waiting to turn on the same side, it is considered bad form to position your car behind the one waiting. Instead, you should sidle up next to them. Do not worry about the possible obstruction to vehicles that are travelling straight on. When the lights change or the turn becomes possible, be sure to accelerate so as to cut in front of the car that was already waiting. If driving in Guayaquil, be sure to pick your nose while you are waiting for the lights to change.
(8) Traffic lights may safely be ignored if there are no police cars in the vicinity, or if it is dark. Otherwise, it may be necessary to stop at a red light, but only if the light has not changed to red sometime in the preceding 45 seconds. If it has, then it is usually safe to proceed, providing you are doing at least 120.
(9) If traffic is dense and it is difficult to overtake the car in front of you, a good technique is to shine your lights into the rear view mirror of the driver in front, thus blinding him. This is especially effective if you are in a SUV and the other guy is not. With luck, the blinding glare from the mirror will cause him to career off the side of the road and into a tree.
(10) All bus drivers in Ecuador are murderous psychopaths. It is dangerous to assume they will act to ensure the safety of their passengers. Their single aim is to cause as many accidents as possible. There are rumours that they are actually paid on the basis of how many motorists and pedestrians they can kill per day.
(11) On rare occasions, taxi drivers have been observed to signal before stopping suddenly at the side of the road to pick up passengers. It may safely be assumed that these drivers were novices.
(12) In Guayaquil and other cities, you may see special lanes signalled "Metrovía", or similar. These are actually VIP lanes. If you feel that you are an especially important person, you can use these lanes freely. The people who don't use them are just plebs.
(13) Unlike other countries, where speed bumps are the responsibility of the traffic authorities and follow a regulatory design, in Ecuador they are an expression of folk creativity, somewhat like graffiti. "Speed bump artists" spend considerable amounts of time visiting different neighbourhoods with buckets of cement and creating aesthetically pleasing irregularities in the road surface. A good speed bump should be unexpected, carefully hidden (e.g. just after a bend in the road, in an area with no lighting) and cause maximum damage to the suspension of unsuspecting vehicles that run into it at night.
(1) Until very recently, the standard procedure for obtaining a driving licence in Ecuador was to bribe someone from the local traffic authority. Lately, a new, improved procedure has come into force whereby you have to bribe a considerably larger number of people. Estimates vary regarding the number of Ecuadorian drivers who have at some time actually had driving lessons, but observation suggests the number is probably not much higher than 2%.
(2) The main purpose of driving in Ecuador is to enrage other drivers, and ideally, cause them to have accidents. Getting to where you want to go is merely a subsidiary goal, to be sacrificed to the main goal whenever the two should conflict. A "good driver" in Ecuador is one who leaves in his wake a trail of skids, crashes, dead motorcyclists and traumatized pedestrians, without damaging the paintwork of his own vehicle.
(3) Most road signs are merely decorative. This is especially true of speed limit and Give Way signs. There is no speed limit on any road in Ecuador. You should drive at, or slightly over, your own car's maximum speed at all times.
(4) If there is a car in front of you, preventing you from reaching your car's maximum speed, you should not brake or decelerate. Instead, you should approach rapidly, at full speed, flashing your lights repeatedly as a signal that the car in front is blocking your way, that you are more important than he is, and that you are not sure whether you can find the brake pedal in time to prevent a collision. If the car still does not move out of the way, you should swerve around it at the last moment, if necessary making use of the hard shoulder. With luck, this will cause other drivers to swerve suddenly to avoid you, and cause a satisfying pile-up, which you can enjoy contemplating in your rear view mirror.
(5) Some Ecuadorian roads are painted with lines which the novice might interpret as indicating lanes. Again, these are just for decorative purposes. Roads in Ecuador do not have lanes. Consequently, any advice you may have read about taking "precautions" before "changing lanes" does not apply. Just weave around the road as you see fit. (If you wish to use your car's indicator lights, make sure you use the one on the opposite side to the direction you intend to turn. This confuses other drivers and ensures your supremacy on the road.) A good policy when there is a lot of traffic is to tack diagonally from side to side of the road, thus causing maximum stress to other drivers who will have to brake repeatedly as you cross in front of them at a distance of millimeters.
(6) In an Ecuadorian car, the horn has two primary uses: (a) to signal to a female pedestrian that you approve of the way she is dressed, and (b) to inform other drivers that you are more important than they are, and that therefore they should get out of your way. A subsidiary use is in a traffic jam or a long queue, to signal that you are in a hurry and tired of waiting. Frequently, this use of the horn has resulted in a genii appearing and magically removing all the other traffic from the road, leaving the driver to proceed at leisure.
(7) If you need to turn, and there is already a car waiting to turn on the same side, it is considered bad form to position your car behind the one waiting. Instead, you should sidle up next to them. Do not worry about the possible obstruction to vehicles that are travelling straight on. When the lights change or the turn becomes possible, be sure to accelerate so as to cut in front of the car that was already waiting. If driving in Guayaquil, be sure to pick your nose while you are waiting for the lights to change.
(8) Traffic lights may safely be ignored if there are no police cars in the vicinity, or if it is dark. Otherwise, it may be necessary to stop at a red light, but only if the light has not changed to red sometime in the preceding 45 seconds. If it has, then it is usually safe to proceed, providing you are doing at least 120.
(9) If traffic is dense and it is difficult to overtake the car in front of you, a good technique is to shine your lights into the rear view mirror of the driver in front, thus blinding him. This is especially effective if you are in a SUV and the other guy is not. With luck, the blinding glare from the mirror will cause him to career off the side of the road and into a tree.
(10) All bus drivers in Ecuador are murderous psychopaths. It is dangerous to assume they will act to ensure the safety of their passengers. Their single aim is to cause as many accidents as possible. There are rumours that they are actually paid on the basis of how many motorists and pedestrians they can kill per day.
(11) On rare occasions, taxi drivers have been observed to signal before stopping suddenly at the side of the road to pick up passengers. It may safely be assumed that these drivers were novices.
(12) In Guayaquil and other cities, you may see special lanes signalled "Metrovía", or similar. These are actually VIP lanes. If you feel that you are an especially important person, you can use these lanes freely. The people who don't use them are just plebs.
(13) Unlike other countries, where speed bumps are the responsibility of the traffic authorities and follow a regulatory design, in Ecuador they are an expression of folk creativity, somewhat like graffiti. "Speed bump artists" spend considerable amounts of time visiting different neighbourhoods with buckets of cement and creating aesthetically pleasing irregularities in the road surface. A good speed bump should be unexpected, carefully hidden (e.g. just after a bend in the road, in an area with no lighting) and cause maximum damage to the suspension of unsuspecting vehicles that run into it at night.
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