Relaciones diplomáticas
A veces es bueno indagar en las fuentes de primera mano. Al querer informarme del por qué tanta gente llamaba al Presidente “caretuco”, me tropecé con esto. Se trata de un extracto de una carta escrita por la ex embajadora estadounidense en Ecuador, Linda Jewell, a su reemplazo, Heather Hodges, aconsejándole acerca de los detalles de su misión en este país. (Esta carta estaba entre tantos documentos guardados en esa computadora que se llevó uno de esos yanquis por equivocación hace poco, y que ahora son de dominio público en la web.) Como verán, aquí se aprecia un posible motivo por el enfriamiento que ha tenido lugar entre los dos países, a la vez que se intuye una posible solución. Veamos:
Now, Heather, when it comes to meeting with the President (I don’t mean the President, I mean the guy that runs this little country here), there’s a few things you just gotta remember. Let’s start with the name. When they had their last elections (that’s another thing you’ll get used to, here they have elections every few months or so) the winner was a guy called Dale Correa (pronounced as in Korea). However, when I went to the swearing in, I found that Dale had been replaced by someone called Raphael. When I asked why, they told me that “esto presidente es un caretucco”, which I immediately understood to mean a caretaker president. It turns out that the real president, Dale, is always on vacation in some swanky beach place called La Casa de la Verga, I guess up in Esmeraldas or round there, anyway, this Raphael is his brother. So you just gotta get used to saying “Buenos días (pronounced way-nose dears) President-ey Care-tucco” which means “Good morning, Caretaker President.” César was kind enough to drill me on this until I got the pronunciation about right.
Now, Heather, when it comes to meeting with the President (I don’t mean the President, I mean the guy that runs this little country here), there’s a few things you just gotta remember. Let’s start with the name. When they had their last elections (that’s another thing you’ll get used to, here they have elections every few months or so) the winner was a guy called Dale Correa (pronounced as in Korea). However, when I went to the swearing in, I found that Dale had been replaced by someone called Raphael. When I asked why, they told me that “esto presidente es un caretucco”, which I immediately understood to mean a caretaker president. It turns out that the real president, Dale, is always on vacation in some swanky beach place called La Casa de la Verga, I guess up in Esmeraldas or round there, anyway, this Raphael is his brother. So you just gotta get used to saying “Buenos días (pronounced way-nose dears) President-ey Care-tucco” which means “Good morning, Caretaker President.” César was kind enough to drill me on this until I got the pronunciation about right.
Buenísimo este post! Me encantó lo de "the winner was a guy called Dale Correa but when I went to the swearing in I found that Dale had been replaced by someone called Raphael".
ReplyDeletejajajajajajajaja ¡excelente!
ReplyDeleteDiuréticamente jocoso.
ReplyDeleteVale acotar que en mi limitadísimo entender del vulgo y sus expresiones, "care tuco" puede significar otra cosa. Sobre todo, porque para algunos ecuatorianos, un individuo "tuco" es alguien mas bien fornido y corpulento, de facha atlética, digamos.
Esa definición no se acomoda al zarandejo en mención, pues mas bien raya en la obesidad mórbida y morbosa.
Yo también me inclino mas a creer, que caretuco es un sujero de luminoso vientre. Correa y su abultada panza empiezan a relucir, de tanto delicatassen de belga que se "jama". Y como dicen por ahí, el correísmo se ha convertido, a punta de propaganda, en un credoque el populacho y los idiotas profesan con diligencia y violenta devoción, y ha sido tan absorbente y adsorbente, que se ha convertido en el nuevo opio de este Ecuador. La religión, el opio de los pueblos. Correa, es el nuevo Budha del Ecuador, y solo basta frotarle la panza, para recibir milagrejos (bonos de la pobreza, solidarios y subsidios) y actos espectaculares (lista interminable)
Sigamos restregando el protuberante abdomen de este sujeto, pronto criará un callo enorme y entonces se volverá insensible.